Monday, July 17, 2017

I Am Here!

These last few weeks have been really hard for me so I do apologize for no blog post of really importance till now. I wanted to share an update with everyone on how I am feeling and what's been going on. I finally made an appt with someone that I think that can help with my flashbacks and help me get better. I have been putting away my feeling for so long I don't always think the things that have happened to me really did happen. I do fit all the traits of someone with depression and PTSD and it's hard to say that out-loud I hate myself for it. I don't want to call myself brave or strong I am just a person who noticed that I couldn't live like this anymore. I have a small child and I want to make sure she is a strong and happy child I need to be that mother to her. I am also stressing again if you ask me questions about what's going on I am not going to tell you much. (so stop asking questions please)


 Its such a personal and sensitive subject for me I don't feel like everyone needs to know my horror story. I prefer to leave that to my husband and therapist. I haven't always been a private person but as I have noticed these issues spiral out of control I need to find some way to control it and this is the way how. I had a rough day yesterday that I haven't ever had I didn't want to get out of bed or do anything I did however spend time with my daughter and we played games but my mind wasn't here I was lost in my thoughts and sadness. Today is a better day but not fixed. I wanted to share my struggles as I know many people reading this have dealt with rough patches in their past and also have children you can't stop for kids. I also don't let my daughter see me upset I think this helps and I am good at hiding that mommy isn't feeling well today. I am still here I am still me.. I am just me trying to cope with the horrible things that happened to me as a child. So please stick around I have some fun things to share a new photo series just for you folks.. !! that's a little brightness I can share today.

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